


If John Watson Were a Rock and Roll Man

by Logos_Faber



Category: Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms, Sherlock Holmes - fandom
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-19
Updated: 2016-01-19
Packaged: 2018-05-14 21:46:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5760013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Logos_Faber/pseuds/Logos_Faber
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Snippet of a Rolling Stone article about the Baker Street front man 3C</p>
            </blockquote>





	If John Watson Were a Rock and Roll Man

This is a non-profit work of fiction for the amusement of other fans.

No infringement is intended.

Logos Faber

o0o

After decades of ambiguity. The greatest trio in rock history is finally tying the knot.

Rolling Stone  
By Kitty Reilly / June 7, 20— 

There are some things 3C believes.

“Peace on Earth could be achieved in a jiffy if afternoon tea and nap-time were global law.” 

There are some things 3C can not answer. 

“I served in the RAMC for seven years before I was medically discharged. I saved people. I killed people. Sometimes the same people...I had bad days...It's classified.” 

There are times when 3C can be a right charming bastard. 

“Baker Street was a underground indie sensation for years before their first national tour was a sold out blow out. We had them on the same night Sebastian Wilkes was doing the rounds for Howling Shame,” says Jay Leno. "It was a no brain-er. Baker Street was on Howling Shame's sound track. Hot band, summer slasher romance flick, couple of guys with British accents: that's a recipe for high ratings and happy sponsors." 

"You know what they say about madness and genius? Well all artist are little quirky. My people are pros at accommodating celebrity personalities. Wilkes is a run of the mill diva. It's all his ego and his drama. Moll is shy. I'm talking full blown social-phobic here. She doesn't do the people thing.

"Lock is some kind of freaky mentalist. I've seen him make a room full of press cry like a daycare with no toys. It's unreal. So if you want to interview Baker Street you talk to 3C. He’s a great guy. Funny as hell – unless you insult his band mates. Then it's a pile of dog shit meets a lawnmower."

“The plan was to have Wilkes on for a full fifteen. Have Baker Street perform right before the commercial, finish the interview with both 3C and Wilkes on the couch. Bing, bam, boom - move on to the skit about the flood of Russian gold diggers claim jumping the marriages of old money blue blood mayflower families in Boston and Manhattan."

"It was going perfectly to plan until Wilkes said something about Moll being frigid. Why did he do that? Why? I don't know, he's an idiot. 3C snaps back she’s not frigid Wilkes’ isn’t hot enough to light her fire. 3C hops off the couch, grabs a random chick out the crowd, kisses her till she's light headed, does the same to her boyfriend turns to Wilkes and says ‘that’s how it’s done son.’" 

"Crowd was roaring – chanting kiss off or piss off or something. Wilkes got red in the face. Started stuttering like that cartoon pig. Looks at me like I'm his director. So I ask him, since he started it, 'you going to man up or march out?' The fool stomps off stage like a three year old. Ruined his career. You can't be a sex symbol if you don't have the balls to kiss a stranger."

"3C just ran with it. Kissed at least seven more random fans in the audience. Hell he kissed me. Man made my knees weak. After, I wanted a cigarette and I don't smoke."

"He calls Moll and Lock back on stage. Does a full set. Lip locks both his band-mates full tongue whiled doing a guitar solo that would make angels weep. He finishes the interview with them both sitting on his lap like a boss. Baker Street was hot before - after that, they exploded like a nuclear bomb. You just can't buy that kind of publicity.”

There is something 3C wants to make absolutely clear:

"Moll is mine. Lock is mine. Don't like it? Fuck off and fuck yourself you fucking fuck.” 

His real name is Johnathan Hamish Watson. His friends call him John. His fans call him 3C. The Scottish nation calls him a native son. The rock gods call him the anointed one.

He’s 40. He is an occasional actor. One of rock’s greatest lyricist. Even if he is not as tall as Lock, or pretty as Moll – he is the official Sex God of Guitar (tm) and one of the finest entertainers in the history of Western Civilization. 

Few groups in history can boast of anything close to Baker Street’s achievements: almost ten straight years of multinational touring, fifteen platinum albums, seven Grammys, two Oscar winning movie soundtracks, four Tonys between them for roles on and music for Broadway shows, 25 singles in the top ten, more sales than the GDP of Romania and the band not only gets along they live together usually in a brownstone on Baker Street in London. 

“I’m not marrying my mates for sex. I’ve the groupies for that – God bless them everyone. I’m marrying them to make it abundantly clear in Lock's curly brain that suicide pacts – no matter how logical they seem at the time – are just not on. He’s mine, Moll is mine and they can’t die till I give the say so.”

**Author's Note:**

> Tid bit that hit me when I couldn't finish what I should be working on for other stories. Enjoy.


End file.
